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oh man! i seriously needa BREAK. common tests are giving my eyebags from all the last min studying that ive been doing. should really have started earlier. i think i shld go for a spa or sumthing after the tests to relax. not to mention an alcohol infused weekend

Melissa Etheridge-Come to my window
I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give
Or how much I can take

Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Just to reach you

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

Keeping my eyes open
I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises
I know that I can't keep
Nothing fills the blackness
That has seeped into my chest
I need you in my blood
I am forsaking all the rest
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you

I don't care what they think
I don't care what they say
What do they know about this
love anyway

omg im like super addicted to this song. so much has happened this past week. from spa to trying to pass my common test to sumone from the past to helping my parents get the new house ready etc.. just too much for for poor lil me to handle.=( and i think ive got commitmentphobia too. sumhow i always seem to zao everytime things get even the slightest hint commit-ty. its happened more than once summore. i needa change.

sigh... the past has caught up with me once again.. this is seriously the wrong time for me to deal with this. argh. not when im confused myself

recently ive been not myself. cant stand the lack of independence ppl have. im going in my angsty phrase again. yays. everyone noes a someone who says the opposite of what the person really feels. i guess i am that person now.

yest during badminton trg, we were talking about what we wanted later on in life( wad courses to take in uni blah blah blah )it was fun discussing it there but after i got home, i though omg i have no idea what i want, apart from a job tt's gg to bring me enough money to get a car. one part of me wants to get married ( yes yes to a man, the irritating kind that earns alot and still has time for the family ), drive one of those 9-seater cars, have like 5 kids and live in a big terrace house with a loyal maid and a white fence. and well the other part of me just wants a high life with cats instead of kids, a high rise posh condo right in the city with a partner/s( yes yes the sex is not decided yet ) who earns as much cash a me and we'd drive our sanky cars to all the clubs each weekend. ahaha. like that will ever happen

v day is coming and im angsty as hell. dont get me wrong im not miserable. my mum is being super irritating by hinting not so subtle-ly that i have a bf/ should have one. i noe she cant wait for grandkids since she isnt gg to get any outa my sis. hah. unfortunately for her i havent taken a liking to someone capable of producing sperm(even someone producing eggs) at the moment

check out my horoscope for today: It's time to end this nonsense -- to mend fences, bury the axe, break bread, etc. Whatever you want to call it, just be sure you do it. A minor dispute has turned major, and it's been going on for long enough, hasn't it? Do the adult thing. Put it to rest, right now. The heavens will be happy to help you out, and if you take the initiative, you'll also be proud of yourself. Now grab that phone and start dialing
like wth so true! oh and the heavens did help. i saw simone there and she sat thru the entire dinner. except some uh weird moments, eg simone commenting tt me taste sucks resulting in 3 secs of total silence and funny looks, the dinner was alrite lar. and because i decided to be vain and wear contacts, my eyes are getting more sore. i hope it doesnt get swollen so tt i can go trg tml. i dun wanna be 55 and i dun wanna stop eating/watching my diet. i dun wanna get kicked out of the skinny club! btw if it swells i will look ugly too!

okay.. im have super many things to do. a ton of geog readings to go through, a marxist geographer(whose an old man and i think he looks like the KFC guy)to read up on and do a presentation. not to mention many many tutorials to catch up on and the freaking science fair shit to discuss about. i swear im gg to be super stress these few weeks. nonetheless i shall try to keep as relaxed as possible. and tml is friday. which is u noe what day. argh. i always seem to be digging my own grave. oh great. i hope tt my mouth doesnt fail me tml. in terms of TALKING that is.

im in love once again! but this time with music! super obsessed with getting the songs from butterfly the movie. they're by this kinda unknown china band called hopscotch whose lead singer acts in the movie. she's got a great voice, not to mention kinda hot too!

ahh! my fave series south of nowhere has just ended! soo sad! but im happy thay spencer and ashley got together in the end. they are both super hot lar.. but ashley(the brownhair one) is super duper hot! even the guys are hot in tt show lar. but all in all the storyline is great. its about spencer and her family who move to LA from a small town. she then meets ashley at sch and gasps! finds out tt she's not all tt str8 as she tought she was. and so the story goes on..=)

sometimes i really do things tt i totally regret. and sometimes i regret regreting those things. let's just say im not so looking forward to friday now. but there's nothing much i can do about it right? except freign a sudden illness. somehow tt doesnt seem too far fetched now. but i guess ive gotta clean up my own mess and just grin and bear it. i just hope i dont end up maryying some jerk on impulse and end up with three kids. by then, grinning and bearing it won't help much. i'd rather die. perhaps running off with another lover would seem like a better idea