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i think i have ranted long and much about this issue. if i had to sum it all up in one sentence, it would be: let secular organizations remain secular, respect the common space. give me time and i would rant to anyone who would listen.

oh yay. the venue of the EGM has been changed to expo. great now its nearer to my house. in conjunction with the 'theme', i shall be dressed in my 'wholesome best'. black sleeveless shirt and boho khaki pants. perfect i tell you. the kind of person mother's would want their sons to take home. hah.

however, one thing that i am very uncomfortable about. Pastor Derek Hong of COOS had this to say: "...there's a line that God has drawn for us, and we don't want our nation crossing that line.". there is something inherently wrong with this statement. dont want our whole nation to cross the line? he seem to be elevating his beliefs pretty high. who gave him the standing to be speaking for the 'nation'? this show clear infiltration of religion into the public square(btw i got this term from thio li-ann's freedom of religion article). by asking the church to vote and even chartering buses for them to get there, he clearing is bringing religion into the picture. it is not about the line god has drawn for 'us', its about the line god has drawn for you. and he or COOS, has certainly no right to impose this sentiment onto the whole of singapore. btw this whole issue makes great fodder for a public law freedom of religion essay.

its really getting out of hand. these people need to be taught a lesson from public law. tsk tsk! maybe, i shall consider mailing them my freedom of religion articles when im done on the 5th. i hope other churches will condemn such behavior. naughty naughty.

i was slightly disappointed by the lack of interest from people regarding this whole aware thing. yes, they oppose it and all, but opposing means nothing without action. change starts with action. and so i decided to consult my sister.

to her i asked: there are so many people opposing this. but how many of them have signed up and plan to vote? no matter how much internet flak these people receive, if no one goes down to vote, they'd just be able to carry on pushing their agenda. and these were her words of wisdom: what made you sign up?

and so it made i think, what is it about this particular issue that made me go the extra mile? did this issue touch on my core values? yes there are many pertinent issues around. ie 377A, female genital mutilation, animal abuse etc. yes i do have my views on them, but if you asked me to go to like some convention against pet abuse, i probably wouldn't. i was even quite apathetic about the whole 377A thing. in fact, i think i perhaps would even lean towards it being kept. not for a religious reason of course, but probably on the ground that i think laws should reflect societal values. when these values change, the law should to. however, i feel that societal values have not changed to the extent that 377A should be repealed.

and so what made this aware issue hit all my right buttons? even if the new exco were allowed to carry one and propagate its beliefs, how would that affect me? literally, it simply wouldn't. which is why i think some people don't feel the need to act, because, the result wouldn't affect them either way. since we are all self centered beings, something extra has to urge us into action especially when it does not affect us.

for me, i think its the whole idea of forcing views down people's throat. and worse still, disguising the whole attempt in the name of secularism. that i cannot accept. plus, i believe everyone has to have the freedom to choose whatever they want in life. be it morally reprehensible or not. if i want to get an abortion because i had a one night stand, that avenue should be available to me. the result of whether i go for one would then depend on my personal beliefs. if i took the view that no, its wrong to kill a life, then i wouldn't. personal beliefs should only come in at that stage. but then there begins this whole debate about not having restrictions ie, if everyone were to have the power to choose to do anything they wanted, we would have disgusting things like bestiality and the likes. so i guess, its up to you where you feel restrictions should come in.

to everyone who opposes this and is now at the middle point of whether to translate this opposition view into action, you should ask yourself one question: does this issue touch at your core values, to make you want to take the extra step? if not, then there is nothing wrong, just like how i oppose animal abuse, but not to such an extent that i have speak out about it. but if so, then its time to consider whether you'd still want to stay silent or speak out. my opinion: if it bothers you so much, do something about it.

on a lighter note, this whole this is so un-me-like i know. for those who know me personally, i am just about as passive as a garden gnome. which is why i chose to be a garden gnome over Aristotle's brain(omg, who wants to be that. you'd be soo overworked) in a fb quiz. hah, so passive that sometimes i frustrate people.

Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover,Singing softly as you fall asleep,You wake up in the morning and it's still there says:
sigh
Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover,Singing softly as you fall asleep,You wake up in the morning and it's still there says:
i wanna come see u n eat dinner with u!

either this is sweet or its the hormones, because i'm tearing up.

so thio su-mien is behind all this(no wonder the coup was entirely legal, although morally questionable). godamnit! why are all the constitutional lawyers on the 'dark side'? i call the trio in law school 'the holy trinity'. they back each other up all the time, with thio junior defending yvonne lee and vice versa. they never fail to include each other as being the victim of 'degradory statements and bigotry' during the s377A saga. mind you this is an article on the freedom of speech. being a humble law student, with inferior knowledge as compared to the holy trinity, i urge everyone to not use degrading words when describing them (as tempting as it may be), lest you be sued for defamation. or worst, they victimize themselves. aiyoh.. so poor thing, kena death threats for just airing their opinion(which i must say, is SO much more valued because of their superior intellect). two words: there there.

god is fair. i may not be fluent in constitutional law arguments, but i am fluent in sarcasm.

in all seriousness, if you are concerned with the 'gay support' that aware is supposedly showing, by all means, go and set up 'CAG' (christians against gays). but please, do give me some credit for coming up with such a catchy name. btw, aware has never been pro-lesbian. it just promotes freedom. it provides help for women gay or straight. their moves are not even consistent with Christianity (not that i claim to be an expert in that area, but i am sure 10years of sunday school counts for something). jesus never turns away anyone, especially those who have sinned (ok now we are working on the premise that homosexuality is a sin).

please do not hide behind the legitimacy of aware and push personal beliefs and use the gay issue to justify your actions. these people stand for so much more than being anti gay. they preach abstinence, anti-abortion and encourage a traditional family structure. they are just using the anti gay stand to mask all these values which in my opinion would result in more dissent from the general public as compared to the gay issue.

seesh, its 10 mins to my birthday and i am fretting over this. public law teachers should be proud.

ok i am anal, i admit it. i hate thong marks on my baos. so much so that i'd use as little strength as possible 'kiaping' the bao so as not to leave any indents. please be gentle when buying a bao on my behalf. if you happen to 'kiap' a hole in my bao, i would still eat it but it would sadden me deeply.

in 13 days, i will finally get the chance to trim my lion's mane(yes, a friend commented that its actually the correct colour), pluck my eyebrows and destroy my liver. then, its time to hit da clubs! sweaty bodies, here i come! (eeeps...)

but until then, its going to be coffees and endless cases. i have this pile of new clothes lying on the floor of my room just waiting to be worn(interestingly, i have a pile of notes on the floor, just begging to be read). needless to say, in times of stress i have a habit of resorting to retail therapy.

check out this astrology site: http://www.astrologyindepth.com/Taurus

i find it an interesting to read. some of the things said about taurus are very true ie: neurotic, melancholic and a strong dislike of unapproved external encroachment upon my personal space.

plus it tells you your compatibility with other signs.

friends, i urge you to sign up. see the facebook group to sign up if i havent already sent you an invite:http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=72296674515#/group.php?gid=72296674515&ref=ts

don't be an armchair critic. key values are at stake. i remember when i was in secondary school, no one taught us how to behave. we just were who we were. no one prevented us from taking DnT just because we're girls. we were independent and were given the chance to excel in areas typically dominated by men. we were taught never to be self conscious, that the sky was the limit and that everything men can do, women can too. gender equality is something i think is worth protecting. do you? ok so now this does sound like some public service announcement. but i tried. are we prepared for the possible backward step of having gender stereotypes and battling against them all over again? maybe we are the privileged few, but many women out there still believe that a woman's place is in the kitchen and her job is to serve her husband. its not a gay thing nor is it a christian thing. its about equality and choice.

no one knows what hidden agendas the new exco have. so far they have refused to state their stand on anything. however, do read up on their backgrounds and what values they hold. then make the decision yourself as to what you think they'd stand for. if you do feel that this issue means something, please register before the 22nd. its only 5 bucks for a student membership.

ok i decided to take a stand. i joined aware and i will be attending the EOGM next next week to vote. gives me a chance to flex my company law muscles. usually, i am not adversarial(omg, i think i am in the wrong course), but this is something really really unethical. this concerns everyone not just women. its about pro family(ie no sex before marriage etc), pro life(ie nice way of saying anti abortion) and hidden agendas. i would urge anyone who finds this takeover bid, uncomfortable, to join aware(find out how by going to their website), go to the EOGM and vote. although, i do hope radicals from both camps would just chill. being moderate is the way to go. if everyone settled things the civilized manner and not act sneakily, none of this would have happened in the first place.

and omg, the weather is soo hot. i have resorted to sleeping in as little clothing as possible(please try not to imagine, its for your benefit). hot still ok, but humid? urgh, i just hate the niam niam feeling

sigh i knew it all along. members of the Christian community do band together. i was just really really angry after reading today's ST 3 page report on the aware take-over. there are only a few radical fundamentalist Christians in singapore and i was not surprised how ST managed to draw links between Josie Lau (the new president) and the thio family. to think of the bad press they are giving us christians. anyway, to quote 'out of the kindness of my heart and the agony of my soul', i do hope the younger thio does not have anything to do with the unethical leadership grab. having strong views is one thing, expressing them is another. forcing them onto others goes one step further and its simple unacceptable. as much as i do disagree with her views, everyone is entitled to theirs and i give her respect(she is a really really smart woman).

to make me even more pissed, they just sacked one of my mentors (braema mathi) via email. so now shes no longer in charge of the CEDAW project. which she was already working on while she was mentoring me all the way back in 2002 i think. no reasons or explanation. while i dont claim to be an expert in public law(i just got back my essay and i got a C+, plus a super sarcastic comment. no guesses who marked my paper), giving reasons is one of the aspects of good administration.

i think one thing that leaves me really irritated and deflated at the same time is that, there is nothing wrong with how they were elected into the committee. in the eyes of the law that it. when i first read the news, i thought: oh shit, there is nothing we can do. talk about helpless. ARGH! sometimes i just hate law! you know deep down that there is something instinctively wrong with a sudden and collaborated take over of an organization, totally changing the aims and views of the organization in the process, but you know too that there's nothing wrong with that in the eyes of the law because all the committee members were duly elected.

dammit i tell you. dammit. i think its time for everyone to take a stand against this issue. i just don't know how. after all, i'm just an angry 20 year old kid.

i just received taxi angst again. really. do i have a face that screams: please pour out all your angst because i care? oh god. i shall not go into the details lest i burst a vessel. lets just say it started out with the uncle saying: 'actually, uncle dont like lawyers', just as he picked us up from law faq. it all went downhill from there. although i did humor him by laughing. to which he replied 'uncle v cute hor?' i'm sorry but was laughing at the insanity of it all.

maybe someone put a curse on me. because to top it all off, i spilled beef goulash on my new and crisp white shit. thank god i'll be having some drinks tomorrow.

Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover,Singing softly as you fall asleep,You wake up in the morning and it's still there says:
i do love u
Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover,Singing softly as you fall asleep,You wake up in the morning and it's still there says:
but just that i cannot fuck u
jean says:
eww!
Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover,Singing softly as you fall asleep,You wake up in the morning and it's still there says:
just tat simple
Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover,Singing softly as you fall asleep,You wake up in the morning and it's still there says:
haha
jean says:
u gross!

guess who?
why of course its eric. i feel better

to end a terrible day:

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me
Think I'll go and eat worms
Long ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones
See how they wriggle and squirm

I bite off the heads, and suck out the juice
And throw the skins away
Nobody knows how fat I grow
On worms three times a day
Ohh...nobody loves me.

ok today has to be one of the worst days that i have had since like i cant remember when. first, while i was sweating in my damn suit, walking around my heels and carrying my laptop, i received a call. and by the time i fished my phone out of my bag i was already mildly irritated(might i add that this is a very mild interpretation of my mood). and when i realised that it was my tutor who was supposed to assess my negotiations today, i had to sound bright and cheery while i was secretly about to pop a vessel because he just told me that negotiations today was canceled and postponed tomorrow. and that i had half an hour to contact everyone and get back to him. i swear, this took like 3 months off my life.

to make matter worse, i discovered certain disadvantages to my group's stand and i spent like a few hours of my life this afternoon fretting over them and trying to come up with a solution. plus, i got food poisoning from a pizza i ate at pizza hut. i knew i should have stopped eating the moment i felt that it tasted weird. but no, i just had to stuff the damn pizza into my mouth because i was so damn hungry.

and so the last thing that made today a terribly bad one was that i discovered a fact. and lets just say this fact is not supposed to affect me in any way. but because god hates me today, it did. and now in addition to the feeling of irritability and helplessness, i feel upset and disappointed. in fact i think disappointment is the worst feeling of them all. it's like expecting an A and all you get is a C-. i desperately need a beer, but i cant because i hate like a ton of notes begging to be read.

we females, work in mysterious ways. even i as part of the species cannot comprehend females sometimes. ok fine i'll admit it, this shows that i am indirectly still mulling over what happened two weeks ago. but you see there is justification for this mulling: you need to know where you went wrong, so that you wont make the same mistake again and improve. but i am entitled to mull. after all, i am carrie (from sex and the city) and she had it on and off with Mr Big for the longest time. why oh why cant i be miranda?

life is really really sad. i think i sigh more than 10 times a day. the most exciting thing that happened today was that i received a place in rodyk. oh yay. in litigation summore. looks like i'd have to buy more white shirts and black pants. maybe i shall get a black skirt instead and look like a washed-out-middle-aged Scandinavian airlines air hostess. you never know, i may have what it takes to be a good litigator. but i doubt it though, my ego isnt big enough.

at least i'll be getting a chance to work in a firm that i potentially want to be working in next time. so i'll be spending a total of 5 weeks doing internships at 2 firms. maybe more if i dont get rejected by singapore legal service. and i am not sure if i'd even get paid.

i cant wait for friday to come. havent been to dempsey in such a looonggg time. although i do not want to be reminded of the reason why i was there the last time. but to get to friday, i'd have to get through wednesday. on which i will be partaking in an event i term 'high class bargaining' ie negotiations. oh damn. i have to dig out my suit again.

oh god. i need to STOP listening to clubbing songs! no more boom boom pow and bottle pop. tell me which music induces studying please.

ok i just got a sudden bout of breathlessness. because i realized that my exams are like less than 2 weeks away. and my notes are either non-existent or in a mess, but mostly non-existent. its times like this that i chide myself for being so damn messy and disorganized. argh! if there is one thing that i hate more than using my brain, its organizing amidst a mess. plus i have like zero motivation this time around because i already got an exchange slot. would someone please dangle me a carrot?

also, i desperately need a haircut to tame my unruly locks (yes, they are officially defined as locks now). sometimes when i wake up in the morning and look into the mirror, i dont see my face. i see a mop of hair. actually, on some days it looks more like a lion's mane, depending on how i sleep. which, now that i think of it, doesnt seem too bad because i wont be able to see my terrible eye bags. oh well, when all else fails, and a haircut just seems too expensive or when there is no time for one, at least i have one solution to fall back on. the trusty rubber band.

sigh, it really saddens me that aware(a local woman's rights groups) has been taken over by christian people who plan to change many of the group's previous stances on certain subjects. plus the way that they did it? totally uncalled for. apparently a whole bunch of them (80 plus) had recently joined the organization. then at the GM, they elected all their own people into the committee. so many new faces there. argh! i wish i was smarter so that i could go against all these injustices. actually i could, but sadly, im not as gifted as a lawyer and i would probably be struck down by one of the big guns. why cant we just live and let live? these people really taint the image of Christians.

there are just so many issues in the world worth championing. i just dont think im suited to champion them. may i have more brain cells, eloquence and a credible face.

ok i admit, i am a little vain. i just spent 100 bucks in body shop. i guess i felt the need to spend. plus i am super happy because i managed to find a perfume there that was very close to 'the scent', that i have been very attracted to for the longest time. i still can remember when i first smelled it a few years ago (yes i know its freaky). have been searching for the exact scent since then. i predict that i would not be able to stop smelling myself for the next few days. the rest was spent on a seaweed toner and tea tree cream. i love bodyshop. everything comes smelling wonderful. even the toners. and smelling good is very very important.

and today marked a milestone in my life. it is today that i made my first purchase of an anti-aging product. it pays to start young. you see, it all started when me and my law friends were talking about how old we felt. then we decided to take a look at out ic photos just to see how we've aged. and my my, does skin lose alot of suppleness in like 6 years(ic photos were taken at 14). the next day, i looked into the mirror, and to my utter horror, i saw slight wrinkles under my eyes. plus, given my very usual frowns and scowls, i dont want to imagine where else wrinkles will appear. and now i'm sitting at home with olay 7 effects anti-aging cream. i even have one to use at night. laugh all you want, i wont be the one getting botox at 45. considering the potential stresses of my future job, i think i'd need some neuro-toxins by the time im 35. i want to be 20 forever!

ok im done emo-ing. efficient huh?

okay, yours truly is not in a very pleasant mood. where's the damn tequila when you need it? where is eric, this would be a very good time to go on one of our alcoholic escapades. i know he's in need of one too

i spent last night in geylang. no no, it was to watch a play, which i must say, was a real eye-opener. the first part involved a prostitutes life. i don't think i will look at them the same way again. then after the first part, we had 45 mins to walk to a different venue several lorongs down to catch the second. the stretch that we walked through was the heart of geylang. i saw like illegal hawkers selling aphrodisiacs which looked like sweets and tempted me to get some just for the fun of it. but mostly, i saw alot of women, just standing at the side of the road, and many (and i really mean many) men just staring at them as they walked pass. just like pieces of meat. when i took a closer look at the men, they had a certain look in their eyes. was it hunger of a different kind? i have no idea. but anyway, that look coupled with their balding heads and bulging stomachs, made me disgusted. and when one such specimen brushed past me, i felt my shoulder turn gangrenous. and i wondered, if the women were not in the trade because they loved sex, then how do they even fuck such a man. for the money? by the way, the going rate is about $40 for 1/2 hour. for about $180, you could get one which could play 'games' and dress up.

as if i wasnt nauseated by my unintentional(it better be unintentional) contact with humsup uncle, i just the worst dessert of my life. since we had 45 mins to get to the other venue, we decided to sit down for some dessert at one of those famous beancurd stalls in geylang. plus, we had this american guy called jean(who looked like jesus) and we wanted to show him some Singaporean food. because, i was trying to be more adventurous, i ordered salty bean curd drink, which i thought was a salty version of the soy bean drink. and before, i show the pictures, let me say that i'd rather not be so adventurous next time. here goes:

this is the vile stuff before i started:


and this is the vile stuff after everyone had promptly tried one mouth and declined any more:


i tell you, it was puke inducing. and i felt nauseous for the rest of the night. disgusting, in terms of consistency, taste etc. to think i actually like salty food. i think there was like hay bee and kiam chye inside. very good dieting food though. before eating it, i was actually v hungry. and after 2 spoonfuls. i was done for the night.

onto the second part of the play. it was really experimental i feel and i didnt get much of what it was trying to say.but there was a scene where a guy was beating up a girl and that was really hard to watch. plus, her sobs were so loud, it didnt help much when i tried to close my eyes.

anyway, ive been enjoying myself this weekend. too much perhaps. from next week onwards, i'm going to be a mugger. plus i have to sharpen my market bargaining skills and prepare for negotiations. lets just pretend the market is in a air conditioned room and the parties are in suits. ah.. purrfect. did i mention that i hate bargaining? hopefully the intellectual type would be better.

oh boy... sometimes i wish i had selective memory. and at others, i wish i was allergic to alcohol. oh boy....