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my computer is spoilt! =( looks like im not gg to have it until the 9th, those lazy acer employees are sure taking their own sweet time trying to fix it. meanwhile ive bogged myself down with books and playing this really cool game on psp called valkyrie profile, which features really great graphics(in other words, the girls are hot period.) the storyline's also really interesting. havent been so absorbed in an rpg since the final fantasy series. i noe the inner geek in me has been lying dormant for a few years, and now its being unleashed. i used to be a much more avid gamer during the playstation one era.
on another note, i seriously needa get a job. im comtemplating the one at mox, after "my scout" tries his hand at working there and tells me what its like. its called "testing the waters" if it does go through and bernice really hires me, you'll see working the till n counting $$ at the coolest gay bar around.(thats partially coz there arnt many in the 1st place). although i dont think i'll see much apart from credit cards and cash(aka no eye candies) at the till. oh well, i really need a job so i guess beggers cant be choosers.

i've had alcohol consistantly for 3 days now, and its time for a massive detoxification session. will try to eat more fruits/drink more green tea for the next few days.
had primary school reunion yest. and it was great seeing everyone again. recalling all the fun times we spent. playing games which involved jumping over tires and another one called crocodile. playing a modified ver of rugby in the com lab and while watching the guys impersonate a girl in a sex channel. and best of all, making fun of people. i really think me and my friends were really mean back then. we were one of the more cooler ppl in class and so we took it upon ourselves to laugh at other ppl. however, since i looked so guai, i was nv caught doing all the illegal things baq then. nicknames such as DEW(dig,eat,wipe) and BEA(big ear alien) were all conjured up by us. and now, 6 years after we left pri sch, were still laughing at those jokes. some things just will nv change can it. hahahaha! to think of all the poor souls tt we made life tough for. after dinner, we went to a friend's hse, where we spent the whole night drinking wine, playing cards, taking pics and sharing about our lives. but when the topic of love life came about(as in who u like, who like u, who u were dating, exes etc), i just told half of it. the male half tt is. haha! laipeng knows about it of coz, and she gave me a knowing look after these series of conversation:
eve: sure got some more right?
me: they're un-mentionable..
eve: why too ugly too say ah?
me: uh yeah sort of..*nervous laughter* (which wasnt totally untrue)
lol! i dont know why i just didnt say it there n then, after all they were my closest girlfriends in pri sch. besides, bisexuality is more well accecpted these days. maybe next time i guess.

its funny watching a movie where the lovestory involed people that are all named after you're friends. and here's a movie that uncannily does exactly that. let me first start out to say that this is a wonderful movie, where the eyes tell the whole story. the characters lines arnt that impt, but basically the whole story can be told by just looking at the facial exp of the two leads, who are great by the way.
the landscape is fantastic, and together with the soundtrack, makes the movie perfect. just makes you wish you were there in the convent school. the supporting cast are great too, each with more to them than meets the eye.
don't laugh but here's the story. annabelle(the lead) is sent to a catholic school coz shes been kicked out of her other 2. there she falls in love with her teacher, simone. so she actively tries to win her heart. of coz being 15 years her senior, simone has 2nd toughts. but altho she is dating a man, she is still in love w her childhood friend, amanda who unfortunately died a few years ago. and so the story goes.. hah! some of the issues tackled are student teacher relationships and of coz religion. what i love about this movie is that the eye contact between the two leads is scarily expressive. and the movie moves in such a way that it keeps u on you're toes. its got the best soundtrack ive ever heard, since my personal taste veers towards more acoustic guitar and the v indie sound, with just a single rough sounding voice. overall perfect movie, apart from the general weirdness of hearing your friends names in the movie. too bad it'll nv be released in singapore, altho its not v RA. so you'll have to get it from the net. your friendly pirated dvd seller already carries this, or so i've heard...

first of all merry christmas! and yesterday was the 1st time i received a christmas call from someone i wasnt even very close to. that was surprising but sweet of that person.
well yesterday night started out boring enough but it ended on a fun note. had thai food for dinner(as if i havent got enough of it in thailand) then went to this bar at boat quay which brewed their own beer. of coz i cldnt resist trying one of their homemades! took lotsa stupid pics which involved me having 2 party hats as boobs, a santa claus hat with ponytails and me being totally sprayed with "crazy string". i was almost totally covered from head to toe with that damn thing.
later we wanted to club. took a really long time to decide and when we finally got to devils bar, we found out tt it was playing trance tt nite and cover was $28. which is seriously hilariously ex. wth is it with clubs. even zouk was playing trance tt nite and hard rock was playing reggae. i just wasnt in the mood for gay music tt nite so no trance for me. we walked a whole long way to indo chine where we settled for more drinks. stayed there from 11 plus all the way to 3plus. i totally felt so sorry for all the masses of ppl that were stuck in the massive crowd in front of me which i was happily sitting on a high chair enjoying my maitai. the rest of the night was filled with laughter while we heard st nics stories and exchanged tk ones with the rest. and omg! i had no idea tt i was so much talked about in sec 1 and 2. i was like "what?? you mean all those ppl said XXXXXXX about me? i dont even know half of them!" great. worst part was my movements were monitored by ppl i hardly noe. how nice. THANK GOD ITS OVER! i've changed! and this was depicted by the unbelievable fact tt i got id-ed and got asked for my ic number, home add and everything else.. all this while using my own id! omg i can hardly believe that!! i mean im used to ppl taking a 2nd look but this is too much. oh hell. anyway i made new friends! and we all chatted up to this random waitress at indo chine which i tought was really cute in the sweet way. and the world is really small coz we found out tt she was from rj(just finished A's too!) and knew some of our mutual friends.
i asked the manager(who was really nice) if there were vacancies there and he said to come and apply on tues aftnm. i think the ambience there is real nice. then again.. the uniform's too indigenous for me.
oh no! i forgot to make a christmas wish! i wish that... there'd be world peace! ohmm!

mummy produced a very stern and albeit direct warning to me today. here's what she said,: i hope that "thing" on ure hips are is not real. if u ever get a real one i'll scratch it out. like woah! speaks volume about whats in store if i ever get a tattoo.
but i think there's something so sensual and expressive about them. yes, even the ah beng ones with gigantic dragons. i think u can tell alot about the person just by looking at their tattoos
this is totally random but i shld really take a kayaking course. so i wldnt get stranded again.

all around me i hear of stories of people wondering why the person they love so much cant feel the same way for them. i even saw on one public blog, sumone was asking "why cant she love me?" and i think, why bother wondering about the reasons? it wldnt change anything. and there's nothing u can do so just give up an move on. dont be pathetic. i promised myself that i'll never end up like that.

my nose is bleeding like fuck now. and i cant get it to stop. my mom says its from eating too much heaty food. but i know better. too much hot ppl over the last few days thats what i think.

ok so im back. burnt, itchy and happy. i jet skied, got a fab massage and got a tattoo. not to mention ate a whole lot too. and i saw soo many hot ppl! it was like hot ang moh land there! but too bad no naked bodies. my my.. i saw this super pretty girl. her face was like woah.. cld i pls have an angmoh gf pls? not fat, preferably w blonde hair. dream on. oh wells. highlights of the trip are in the pics below:

here's what i call REACH FOR THE BOOBS! now if i were just a lil taller...

now isnt tt hot.

after jet skiing AND alot of screaming

then there was also this elephant of which i was real scared of. yikes. the others will be up on fickr if i have the time to upload it. till then it'll be more slping and tending to my really dry skin. no more hot ppl... *sulks*
by the way, i am NOT attracted to transvestites. its either all male or female for me.

i have to leave for the airport in about an hour. and here i am, watching borrowed dvds of queer as folk instead of packing, not to mention having a last min snack of cereal n milk. why do i have this feeling that im gg to be late? speaking of queer as folk, its surprisingly addictive! maybe even more so than l word. and another surprising thing is that watching two guys going at it isnt that bad after all. but no i dont enjoy gay porn. its just that woah the guys in the show are real hot. i think as far as a person's face and body are concerned, im bisexual. but when considering what's below the belt, im asexual. nice. no guesses to who's gg to die a virgin. but if i really had to choose... heh
i so am looking forward to seeing hot bodies at the beach(or so jp says anyway). i think i'll see more flabs than abs. also i'll try my best to keep my promise to my sis. to not get blown up that is.

i call it the clubbing cycle. it seems that after every clubbing exp, i just super sick of it for about a week, then after that i'd be aching to go again. how interesting. during that one week, i'd be feeling how clubbing is such mindless fun. how it breeds shallowness and superficiality. and to think i participated in such an activity. tsktsk. then after about a week, well, i'll feel that: hey a lil mindless fun nv hurt anyone.
vj chalet was ok. considering that i was down w the cold and was trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to not spread it to others.it was the ususal mahjonging and late nights. luck was on my side and i won some money fr mahjong finally. i swear mahjong ranks among the most addictive games in the world.
went to a herstory party on the 2nd night. there was this musical thingy where past winners of butch hunt and femme quest were like singing n dancing. not v interesting la. it was better at femme quest where everyone was cheering for all the contestants(even the most unappealing of them). saw a number of familiar faces there and my my, ive discovered that some butches are v appealing! that doesnt mean im still not intimidated or scared by em. just that well, there are some who are real hot, aka shane lookalike. the night was filled with hot faces and bodies(then again, it may just be the lights, the alcohol and well more alcohol) i cant believe i saw my old long lost church best friend! well she has since chose to ditch her long hair for a more shorter cut and well in short shes a bung. wah still got girlfriend summore, saw em at the danceflr. hrm, no wonder we were best friends last time. must have been able to sense tt we'd both were gay even b4 we knew it. lol! now whenever someone asks me what kind of girls i like, im gg to say, all kinds! all in all, i prefered femme quest the last time, more ppl and the danceflr was more packed. still it wasnt that bad. i hope butch hunt next yr wld be as interesting..
i saw a girl on the bus w great pink highlights. mayybe i shld get that next. prob when i enter uni and when i dont have to work or anything.
my parents are out of town and i have to do everything myself! laundry etc. urgh! and i have yet to even pack. how wonderful.

wonderful by everclear. the song that gets me in the emo mood everytime
here's a peek to what the lyrics contain:
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

everytime i hear this song i'd close my eyes and imagine running away from everything, my life, my friends and family. just to leave it all behind and go some place new. then i'd open my eyes again to find that nothing has changed, im still where i was at 15 secs ago. and i am still in the life tt i was in. sometimes i'd hope that if i wished hard enough, so hard that by some miracle, the power of me wishing wld somehow cause the wish to come true. but that can never happen can it. dreamers never get anything accomplished.
i know i know i shld be happy with what i have now. i know that im more successful than the average kid(by successful i mean the ususal measures of success by society). i have more gadgets than i actually need. im not hideous. i dont have any disabilities(not unless u count mild dyslexia). i have a grp of great friends and family. yes that i know. but sometimes, i just want something more

ive just discovered a gem on the net and it comes in the form of an "interesting" comic series. check it out at: http://yume.comicgen.com/
sometimes i feel like fiona(the main character), always finding myself daydreaming and well wishing tt when i wake up each day, everything wld be different. of coz there are days too where im just happy to be able to wake up and feel alive for one more day. but big diff between her and me is tt she has lia. oh goddammit.
i really want a job which allows me to meet hot new people. sumhow hot, enlightened(the new word im gg to use for ppl who arent mindless assholes) and single always dont come together. oh wells. the service industry wld be my best bet but the pay is really sucky and i totally cant carry hot bowls of soup!
why do i have this nagging feeling that i will end up with a totally boring office job where i see ugly middle aged people everyday? and the pay wld still suck! can life get any worse? oh yes it can. i will end up UNEMPLOYED.
this is so random but i just saw this how angmoh on tv speaking chinese better than me. i sooo needa brush up on my spoken mandarin and stop sounding so weird everytime i speak it

ok so ive just awakened from a long slumber after crashing onto my bed at 7 in the morning. stayed awake after prom n post prom so naturally i was dead tired! and god am i sick of bouncers taking a too long look at my ic. yesyes! enough already, tt picture there IS me. godammit.
so lets start from the begining. let to get my hair n makeup done at paragon w the gang. of coz eric didnt get make up n hair done, he was just being a nice guy and accompanying the girls. and oh i luuurrrvvvee my hair! it doesnt look tt great fr the front but fr the side n back.. woah. and im sure the makeup artist tt did my makeup is "enlightened" heres wad she said to me: oh if ure tanned u'd look v andro. not many ppl know wad andro means. ok so im gg tanning! and i love my grey eyes. thinking of maybe getting grey coloured perm contacts. so kewl. and the powers of concealer is limitless! i had a big red pimple tt morn. which i was cursing and swearing at on the bus to eric. i must have been mean.
so at ritz, everyone looks generally ok. except for a few eyecatching ppl( i dont mean gd looking just eyecatching) took many pics and well the night passed w ok grade food and a luckydraw of which i won nth.
next headed to dxo where we danced the night away. and at 4, i was walking out of the club with no shoes on coz my heels were killing me! and we went baq to hotel 81 to slack, bathe n eat b4 catching the 1st bus baq. sure enough i woke up w a terrible body ache which is nth new to me aft a nite of clubbing and a blister on my foot. reminds me of badminton trg. dancing sure is a gd workout isnt it?
here's sum pics below. the rest are in the pictures link. i tried to upload till my limit for this mth.

at the terribly small hotel rm. i wonder how ppl copulate in such a small place

at ritz! where we nearly zao genged

pardon me for my superficial previous post. i was in one of those shallow moods again. i do like to believe tt those ARE moods and not part of my personality. altho it is part of my personality to have a vast array of moods. oh well.
the real jean thinks tt the inside counts a million times more. coz one day, skins will sag, hair will drop n well appearances decline. so what ure left with is the inner core of a person and tt's what matters the most. so THERE! =)

ok so i was out with my sister. we went for tea at this v chi-chi tea place at taka. think its called the royal copenhagen or sth like tt. well.. it certainly was fit for a queen. and i sure felt like one, except the queen has royal tea not royal iced danish coffee like me. oh well at least i had lovely scones with cream, butter and jam. funny thing was tt we had weird dreams the night before. mine was tt i was making out with a gay man, then i was participating in the amazing race w another! we didnt get eliminated mind you! hers was tt she had an affair w sumone she met at the office. worse thing was tt the person is not even chio and even slightly horizontally challenged or so she says. so i decided to do a lil dream interpreting. trying to be david.(or was it joseph who made sense of the king's dreams? damn i need to go to church more). here's my take on my dream: i am a closet heterosexual.
and here's her take on her dream: my sister's personal space had been violated by tt lady. which is sth tt i really can identify with. i think we both really have an issue with personal space. esp w ppl who are not so appealing. i mean if the person is hot, sure! come as close as u like! a lil touching nv hurt anybody. (ok well...)
but if the person is not.. well, inch away discretely. if the person gets closer even after tt then.. well too bad! grin n bear it. one eg of an intrusion of personal space for me was, this time when i was having a meal with person A. all was ok when suddenly person A reached over the table n took a grope at my stomach. ok well maybe grope is a too extreme word but well, it certainly freaked the hell out of me. i noe u dont believe me when i say my stomach is fat, but pls refrain from touching. no offence, i think the person is nice but i wasnt attracted. well i dont really like ppl tt close to me. but if i like u well tt's a whole diff story, altho it still urks me slightly. but of course its a diff story if im already close friends with the person of coz. i totally hate it when its crowded in the mrt or bus. when the next person is like less then 5cm away from u. however, with alcohol its a whole diff story. everyone seems a million times hotter than they really are. ie clubbing. hah!
my sister and i are more alike than shed like to admit. sure 9 years apart but hell, we share most of the same genes for gods sake. deep deep deep down i know tt shes as shallow as me. we nv fail to "rate" all the new ppl tt we meet. and shes even more critical i tell ya! an eg of a convo w her.
sis: u like *inserts a name of sumone we know*?
me: shes/hes ok wad
sis: are u crazy? shes/hes so *inserts various -ve descriptive words* (vertically/horizontally challenged or aesthetically unappealing or bengbeng lian lian looking etc)
come to think of it.. i do the same thing with her! maybe tt's why we're sisters
this is so random but i really want to grow 3 more cm to reach 1.7m! then i can tower over my sis. and be a cool 10cm taller! why am i so obsessed with height.. seesh

damn im sooooo bored with life. who knew. just after 1 week or so of A levels ending i'd be bored. a few days of clubbing and drinking over the week is quite enough for me. these days i entertain myself with grocery shopping, watching kids central and well just lying down in bed. ive got ear hole infected again coz of lying down too long on tt side of my head to watch tv. how nice. i dont even want to step on the weighing scale. somedays i console myself tt the gain is due to water retention from dedeng. but face it u cant be menstruating everyday. then somedays im so lazy to get out of bed tt i just lay there staring at whatever programme on kids central.
this is so sad i cant believe it. dont get me wrong, its not that ive got nth to do or no one to go out with. its just tt im too lazy to even move. surprise surprise. i have yet to clear my room of all my notes. which my mom nv fails to remind me everyday.
i need a job yet im too lazy to find one. maybe i shld just try relief teaching xiao mei meis at tkg? and when the class gets too noisy, i'll just scream: shut the fuck up lil girls, ms lim needs to teach. and oh yeah maybe give tuition. next time u'd see my ad up at bus stops. last but not least, maybe i shld be a lesbian social escort to old lesbian aunties! u know be their date to a dinner event or sth for a night. i do look good in power suits. all id have to do is grin and bear it. afterall, i think i've got quite alot of exp in tt area n can do it quite well. just pretend ure gg out with someone else. easy as pie.