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nope, i'm not dead. just been too busy with work and social obligations. more of the latter. oh god, should really get my priorities right. oh wells, as long as i'm having a good time. i figured i should go do things that make me happy. which has pretty much worked. but damn, work still needs to get done. really thankful that i have enough moolah to enjoy life. although i don't think i'll be able to take a bath in champagne anytime soon.

i have no idea but i keep thinking that i'll be turning 24 this year. which leads me to the point of not having enough time! well, since my life plan says that 28 is a good time to settle. that gives me like 5 years more of fun. and my *cough*blonde*cough* is still nowhere in sight. i just wanna have crazy fun before it's too late and the only fun i'll get is the satisfaction of being a MILF. i mean stuff like a hot new beemer can only be enjoyed while you're young. (please let me be able to afford one by 25). although that seems rather impossible since: a)a lawyer doesn't earn THAT much. b)i'll still be buying random branded stuff along the way c) super high car prices. oh wells, one can still dream right... sometimes, i think i'm not in a very profitable profession (just take a look at the banking sector and its sky high bonuses). make me feel like a pauper in raffles place you know. but i figured, at least i'll like what i am doing (hopefully).

makes me feel guilty that i have so many materialistic goals in life though. oh wells, at least they keep me motivated.

what matters?

i've been wanting to write on this for the longest time, but i never managed to string more than a few coherent sentences together. these days, i've found myself being rather zen about things. first, i let lesser things get to me in the first place. which may make seem like a less sensitive person. but honestly, sometimes it's better to just care-less. because, face it, how are you ever going to care for everyone? next, i realised that it is not always beneficial to express your opinion all the time. why? simply because as much as we would not like to admit it, our opinion does not always matter. it is not a matter of having no balls to voice it. it is a matter of balancing the benefits of me airing it against the disbenefits of me keeping it to myself. because trust me, i am opinionated. but, be a little modest. which is why i particularly dislike the american system of teaching: ie voicing every single thought you have in your little head. oh puhlease, isnt that a little too self glorifying for one's own good? oh well, that's just my two cents worth (see airing my opinion here does not have any disbenefits).

maybe i am finally growing into my taurean self then. sometimes we all get lost in the present and lose sight of the bigger picture, which is what matters. that's not easy because i think it is pretty instinctive that we think more about the present. but perhaps, we all could use a little reason. almost everything can be reasoned out rationally if we force ourselves to. sure, it makes everything less magical and mysterious i guess. oh wells.