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'keep your old lover letters, throw away your away your old bank statements. '

i just did the latter and i've always done the former. they're somewhere around the house. and i am going read through some of them now. why you might ask? because i want to re-live (even if its just for a moment) what it was like to just like someone. without all the other crappy issues that we have to think through now. money, social status, people's perception of you. all these never existed when i was 14.

second thoughts second thoughts. terrible, they are. talk like yoda i am.

i would be the worst person ever to invest feelings in.

so addicted to this.

'Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself'

i should have done this in canada

maybe, we're inherently materialistic afterall.

today i want to rant about not getting any work done and getting fat. been indulging in too much food lately and have not been able to get enough exercise. whatever happened to my fit self? i should really get down to some serious gymming soon. and work, omg work! or the lack thereof. there's just so much of it, i don't even know when to start! going for a friend's 28th birthday later and going to eat some more. oh wells, what's a girl that doesn't rant about her weight uh. after which i shall TRY to squeeze in some time for studying and exercise. i need motivehshion. maybe its not so good to have a job awaiting you before graduation. and maybe its not so good to have learnt that the firm will be paying as good as the bigger ones but i'll not have to go back everyday at 2am.

oh the things i would rather not know! and trust me on this, there are ALOT of things that i would rather not know. damn internet age and its force feeding of information or the temptations of info.

the thing about cynics is that they are usually driven to greater heights of cynicism. and i have a good reason for thinking this way. you see, there will be times when the cynic will be tempted to think differently (whether influenced by a person or event). suddenly, there's a prospect that maybe we aren't all so fucked up after all. and so for a period of time, it's all happy and sunny and yay. until something happens and you realize that you were right all along. everyone is really fucked up. oh wells. so i maintain that its better to be grounded, than to get a taste of what flying's like, only to fall back hard to the ground.

play on thursday. oh my it has certainly been a while.

ear candy of the moment.

one of the perils of having too much gray matter, you'll tend to think too much. way too much. i think i may have found the reason why alcohol makes life so much more easier for me. it stops me from thinking. the good thing about listening to other perspectives is the mere fact that i now know that they exist. to see that there are other ways of looking at things. it doesn't matter if someone's way of thinking differs from mine. one can never claim to know enough.