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this week has been a week full of unexpectedness and confessions. some good, some bad, some just plain heart stoppingly shocking. oh well, like my facebook status illustrates, i think i've become significantly less naive at the end of this week.

all you people out there, naughty naughty! jean knows you're dirty lil secrets but dont worry, she'll keep her mouth shut, if you'll keep her dirty lil secrets.

and i did not have enough alcohol over the weekend to get over the shocker(to all who are aware of the shocker, yes i am over it. i think.). on thur, i had 2 bottles of beer(totally not enough) and on sat i had anrd 4 drinks during mox's closing party. oh oh, i had shisha on fri too! but hey, u can never get enough of vices.

here's a peek at how i spent my friday nite:



sat at mox was really a treat for the eyes. =) saw lotsa old faces. but eric's back in msia. =(

its sad, mox is closing on saturday nite. i still remember the first time i walked into it. it was probably in j1 or 2. the lovely interior of the place.

although, its been a long time since ive been there coz eric left, im glad both of us are going back one last time before it closes.

sigh, cant wait for him to come back! make friday come faster.

today i learnt that one way of viewing marraige is as a bargain for sex. wife gives husband sex in return husband provides for the family etc. should all relationships be seen as a bargain for something. you give something, only to expect something in return? i guess when phrased like this is doesnt seem very appealing but then i guess, its like that in the real word, just that people are unwilling to accept it.

today i also found out the meaning of: mindfuck. and i think its quite an interesting word for some reason or other.

what a terrible day. really terrible.

i had the worst meal for lunch, while everyone else had sth nice. then i got grilled at moots.

well i dont want to elaborate on the worst thing of all. cant say too much, you never know who might be reading blogs. lets just say it warrants a visit to the bar with uncle agoney eric ( who btw is coming back to the weekend! yippie! ), and get pissed drunk. i really do believe in the merits of alcohol. it really does make you feel better. maybe its just for me, but after a whole lot of alcohol after sth saddening, i see the world in a better light. and that doesnt just last for the time in which im drunk.

this bar trip with uncle agoney will prob be either on fri or sat nite. and we will wallow in self pity. lol! oh what would i do without eric. i felt so much better after dinner just coz of a one liner of his. when before that i was just super whiney and sad.

will friday come a lil faster?

sometimes i am rational. the cold detached law student that i should be. focusing only on the cold hard facts. everything else that is inconsequential to the case is left aside. after all emotions when not coupled with a legal concept is useless. its always a balancing act, the person v the company, loss v the greater good, one person's detriment v business efficacy.

its terrible. its like you are surrounded by the mist of practical-ness that you cant remember how it was like before this mist came. the more you learn about how the world works, the more you realise that its such a terrible world. maybe i should pack up and living in the swiss alps and spend all my days making blue cheese. away from all the corporate nonsense. coz the bottom line of profits as i see it is this, if you want to be rich, it as to be at the expense of someone. now, if everyone in the world had a million dollars would it make all the world's problems dissappear? well no, simply coz humans are selfish creatures. a million is never enough, so they'd probably rob steal or kill to get more. the more civilised will not resort to such direct means, perhaps they would con the less intellectual of their money. and they in turn will be conned by the more intellectual of their money. oh the cycle goes on and on.

i suppose the best way to live life is to make the most ethically correct decisions while taking into account the economic situation. no one can live without money anyway.

i think my plan will be to make as much as i can early on in life. then by the time i reach 30 i shall slow down and maintain this wealth and enjoy some of it. take a few years off work and roam the world perhaps. or maybe settle down in some remote island for a few years. and when the money runs out, i shall return to earn more. not a bad idea actually.

today, i saw pictures of murder victims and scenes. all for criminal law. remember noi noi? yes, i saw her body lying in a drain,covered by trash. later i saw her whole body. it was unaturally positioned. clearly she could not have been just asleep. next it came to the chopped body parts case. remember the head that was left in the middle of orchard road? well i got to see the other body parts too. and lets just say i am never going to look at pig trotters the same way again. the rest of the lecture included a dead pregnant woman who was stabbed to death and a close of look at stab wounds. sigh, i wonder what leads humans to commit such terrible acts? i think it would be scary to get into the mind of a killer. because, you'd probably mind a mind similar to that of yours, just that that mind snapped at the moment of killing.

i think i am unstable in a way too. well rest assured, i am not going to be killing anyone in the near future. its a "harmless" unstableness. lets just say if i feel a way abt a certain someone, that feeling comes and goes, in like a matter of hours? so its like, oh my i really love/like XXX and then its ah no i dont. this sort of repeats itself? until i like YYY and the whole cycle starts again. tsk tsk. wonder if i am the only weird person like this.

oh well, live life for the moment i say. i shall be in a thoughtful/depressive mood these few days, bear with me coz the soundtrack that i am addicted to for the moment is really sad. sad music makes a sad person

yours truely has a killer week ahead. a 1500 word essay about a topic that i am totally clueless about due on tuesday, a tutorial about a topic i didnt even attend lecture for due on wednesday and a 3000 word memorial of which has killer formating due on sat. sounds lovely eh.

not to mention i had terribly past week to boot. the weekend's just simply too short to relax. i didnt even have time to dye my hair. unless you count 2 am a suitable time that is. not to mention i am having some doubts as to whether to go ahead with it. since part of the reason may be invalid, knowing my character.

oh whatever! i am totally not in the right position to worry or think about such things with all those damn deadlines.

its one of those times where i wish that time will just stop, and let me recollect myself before rushing on together with the rest of the world. oh how much i would give to be able to go on a short vacation now. just one day is enough. oh and a nice cold beer.
BUT
back to those damn readings and back to reality.

maybe i am just not cut out for this. and i am not referring to law.

argh.

its one of those days where i feel like packing my bags and just leaving the country to start life anew someplace else

and so i spent sat nite enjoying spanish tapas at clarke quay, enjoying a nice cold sangria followed by a pint of beer at brewerks. lovely. then i returned into a hotel room at swisshotel merchant court and frolicked amongst the nice thick, clean sheets of the bed that i would have the most wonderful sleep in. and in the morning, i soaked in a bathtub with aromatic bath oils for an hour. lovely. all that since my sis decided to take a holiday in singapore and invited me along. soaking in a bath tub was just sooo shiok, i never did want to get out.

i think when i have enough cash, i shall take a vacation in singapore. just check myself into a nice hotel and nua away. ahh...

anway, it is so weird that when i like someone, i display dislike towards them. this is just so weird. so if im nice to you, i probably dont like you. hah. just kidding.

hrm i dont understand why people think that i will make the same mistake again this time around. was it even considered an mistake in the first place? after all not everything is supposed to be perfect.

oh well, i admit im not the most perfect of people around. im painfully fickle for one. now, what's new. i know my weakness, and of course, i will try my best, but then it isnt all about me right? so what if i am a 100% sure, is it being reciprocated? u cant be 100% sure that it would. and thus, there is no point in being 100% sure now is there? i mean dating is all about getting to know the person better, then deciding whether the person is right for you. it is seldom the case that even before you start to date, you already realise that you want to be with the person. dating is after all non-committal. its about 2 people who have an initial attraction to each other, now having a chance to get to know each other better. if it works out then yay, if not then well, there are always others.

ok now, enough of the ranting. for now.

i dont know what to do.

its settled, im leaving for hongkong on the 10th of may! its going to be 5 days of good food and shopping! hopefully i'd survive with my terrible chinese and non-existant cantonese. yup, and im now 730 dollars poorer. i really need to get a job during the long hols since i'd be gg to newyork too. air tics alone cost like $1500! urgh, and i'd have to be searching for really short term jobs since i cant commit for anoything for more than 3 weeks at a time. got law camp stuff to settle then too. oh god.

this is damn rare but im in the mood for like soppy love stories, somehow. normally im like ewww! i feel like watching star dust again! not to mention the movie "leap years", which has been deemed cheesy by like all the movie reviews. but hey, there are eye candies in the show like the guy from shutter and li-lin.

omg, i seriously need to be doing some work! i havent even done a single piece of work since the start of the hols. too contented with my B- for contract even though its considered by some ppl to be a terrible grade already. but hey, for the amt of work i put in, i consider it quite a great achievement. cant wait for moots(lots of hard work more tt needs to be put in tho), coz i can finally wear a suit! nothing screams power more than a woman in a power suit i say.