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i fell in love(well not literally la) with someone who asked what i wanted to drink. but no. it wasnt the coffee shop drink uncle. oh wells
the weather these days is really cold. or maybe its just me. i even have to sleep with a jacket. mind you, my air con hasnt been fixed. and in office.. my god.. i was practically frozen. its perfect time for a shot of whiskey neat to warm up

ok so i nearly died just now. shall start with the non near death exp. went to wala wala aft work with my sis to hear the unexpected(which has a hot vocalist and a drummer with a hunky body). 2 pints of beer and i was already singing along with the band. woah were they great. it was almost like lesbian nite or sth. there were so many lesbians there. i saw su pin and her friends who knew my sister. what a small lesbian world this is. i saw some girls tt i wld go for there, but they're unattainable. i seem to like the kind which are femme but boyish in a way with cool hair, but they unfort like the totally femme kind. it was soo ironic that one the way out i was picked up by this ang moh guy. hot but too old. sigh... the world is nv fair. i just smiled sweetly(like i always do!) and walked out. i know i know, i like ang mohs but.. in tt kinda lighting and aft too many drinks.. one can nv be too sure about the looks of the person. anyway. im 18!!! altho i prob looked 30 to him coz i was decked in typical shenton way style(ie shirt tucked in w pants). oh wells. ha!
now to the part where i nearly died. here goes... i was on a taxi back. we just started moving after stopping for a red light. then suddenly, a super fast car came crashing thru the water barriers and past like 3 lanes(past us of coz) and hit the railings. it was totally smashed, even the back was like gone. first thing tt crossed my mind was omg.. am i dead. 2nd thing was, oh wait, i dont feel any pain, the car missed us. I AM ALIVE!!! THANK GOD!! it totally missed us by the whisker! so much so tt the water tt splashed out from the impact agaist the barriers were like spashed onto the taxi. WAH HENG AH!!!!!!! i dont wanna die!!! i have cool hair now..(which btw refuses to stay in place) and i just got picked up. too young too young.. tt fucking guy still can walk out of his wreck as if nth happened. fucker cfm must have been speeding. pardon me for using such strong words, but endangering youre life tog with others, i totally cannot tolerate.

god i cant stand the accounts lady. she nv fails to give me the black face everytime i pass her the accounts sheets. and i smiled ok!
i think im gg to shrivel up and die once i enter the real world. im totally helpless without friends. and thanks god for the last 18 years of my life i have many ppl helping me along even when i know tt they are not obliged to at all. guess ive been lucky. its a dark scary world out there and i too scared to face it alone. yikes!

my first day of work was eventful enough. in 8 hours, i managed to:
1) learn how to use a shredder
2) nearly get my finger stuck into a shredder in the process of learning to use a shredder
3) make soo many klutzy mistakes tt i totally lost count
4) make a new friend, who is also a nail biter and my only lunch partner

work was truely stressful. i had been warned. there wasnt a min tt i had nth to do. now im sure tt clubbing on weekdays are a big nono, unless i dont mind zonking out in office.
i wanna kill myself for the amt of dumb questions i asked and the number of mistakes i made. tsk tsk.

over the wkend, i had a little teeny weeeny accident while diving my dad's car. i sort of reversed into a wall. heh. but its forgivable coz i havent learn how to reverse. but back to the main point...
and so i went into the gynae's office today thinking tt i was gg to get some painkillers for my cramps and prob sth for the puking tt happens sometimes along with it. instead, i walked out with 4 months worth of an oral contraceptive, the pill. nice. this was aft a few weird moments w the doc, involving questions like are u single? have u had sex etc etc. seesh. to which i replied sth along the lines of :u think leh?(w/o the singlish of coz) apparently i look like im sexually active. *shrugs* i seriously needa change my image. so why oral contraceptives? well, apparently pains occur when u release an egg.
interesting fact of the day: did u noe that u can have ure period w/o realeasing an egg? neither did i.
anyways, the reason why i didnt have the pains in sec sch was coz of badminton. cut the long story short, when u exercise alot u dont release an egg. tt's why u dont have pains. take heart, at least i know im fertile! yay! babies!
the doc was telling me how effective the pill was etc etc. and all im thinking was: cld u pls huury up? i have a hair appt later. cut the crap, didnt i say i was sexually inactive a moment ago? im picky about who or what i allow in so i wont be getting any stds soon. and yes, im behind the average age of having sex(which is 18 btw). im working on it!
urgh! wasted 3 hrs of my time. at least i got to see my hot hair stylist. and becoz shes hot i closed one eye the the price(which isnt really tt ex). but i like the way she cuts my hair! im not shallow coz i didnt go back to one hot guy who ended up giving me a bad haircut.
so im gg to start day one of my unpregnant life with work tml. rushing with everyone at raffles place. ask me out for a drink. i'll be needing it

these past few days has been hectic for me. from navigating my say through raffles place to my 1st driving lesson. first, navigating arnd raffles place. i think i must be the worst geog student when map reading is concerned. i took like 20 mins to find the building when it was like just next to the building tt i was standing under at 1st. just tt it was sorta blocked from my view. the next duh thing tt i did was.. i sorta got lost on a floor. i walked arnd for a few mins when the office was like right next to the lifts. till the kind receptionist had to come out to fetch me. lol! i feel sooo pathetic. thank god for nice ppl. coz if not for all the nice ppl tt ive known i wldnt even be in tt place. oh and i start on tues. a 9 to 6 job w possible ot. nice... i wont be clubbing for a long time. but def will be gg for aft work drinks.
ahh.. driving.. another prob for me. i wldnt say tt it was vvvv hard but its certainly not like daytona. i used to win in tt game ok! the instructor only spoke chinese so i had to like take 2 secs to process wad he was saying. which wasnt too good on the road. and i realised tt i cant drive str sometimes. hah! i made like many mistakes. for one, not stopping at a stop sign and well... turning w/o looking. pretty serious if u ask me. but i thought the whole ride was quite smooth. unfort, aft the whole thing, my legs hurt. i guess from all the stepping. aha! i just wanna pass!

ok i FINALLY tried shisha. met shauna for dinner at city hall and we were supp to go timber for drinks. but she suddenly thought of shisha so we ended up at arab street. went to this really cozy and laid back place called ambrosia(i think). the slogan for tt place was divine pleasures, v suggestive. had cherry flavor and went home smelling like a bloody cherry! but it was really nice, and since it was flavored tobacco, i felt the effects eventually. nice.. i'll def wanna go there to chill again. but one letdown, the alcoholic drinks. they mostly serve wines, so they only had becks(which sucks big time). but if u want a non alcoholic gd chill out time, there's the place to go. shisha costs 18 bucks a pop. there are cheaper places(14) but the ambiance isnt nearly as gd. btw she said i lost weight! which made me happy. but lately, ive been a lil worried about my appetite. its been lar lesser than normal. i just cant seem to eat as much as i used to. and it shows coz im losing weight. im kinda happy w my figure now so losing weight isnt tt great at this period of time.
this weekend is gg to hectic for me. i have a chat w the lawyer on friday at 6.30. please let me control my singlish and dont fuck it up. and ive got my 1st driving lesson on sat. im driving a black lancer! so cool rite i think its the coolest of all test cars.. lol! please dont let me bang a tree or worse, a human.
i had a lovely night. it really great meeting up with someone u havent met in a really long time. basically hanging out with friends can nv be boring. perhaps tk outing shld be held there. hrm.

YAY! i passed my basic theory. i nearly passed out when i was the pass on the screen(no pun intended) seems like my luck might be picking up, though its still too early to say. now comes the big question, shld i take auto or manual? auto like so pokpok(my exact words), but i'll be driving my dad's car which is auto anyway. plus, i have bad coordination. so i guess it'll be auto aft all. i dont feel in the mood for a challenge. i kinda like it now tt my life is kinda serene.

even though recently i havent been very free, i managed to finish 4 books : never let my go by Kazuo Ishiguro, febuary flowers by Fan Wu, to kill a mockingbird by harper lee and vagina monologues. i still have the historian and another 2 more novels on hand. never let me go was touching, feb flowers was gay(literally), to kill a mockingbird was insightful and vigina monologues was eye opening and thought provoking. all 4 books are def worth reading.
its driving basic theory for me tml and im soo scared i'll fail! i really dont want to wait another mth or so b4 i can retake the test. man i havent been in the studying mood for so long that its hard to make my brain memorise anything again. pls pls pls let me pass!
i just realised tt i cant resist anything emotional. for example, the song yellow covered by tanya chua is soo heart wrenching! i practically wanted to cry the 1st time i heard it. "for you I'd bleed myself dry.." that line pulled at my heart strings. even dance gets to me, watching so u think u can dance today, i was soo overwhemed by the emo dance bet heidi(who shld have won btw instead of tt fat black girl) and travis. the starcrossed lovers storyline has been used again and again in many movies be it gay or straight. no matter what the outcome(either they stay tog or they dont), i secretly enjoy such movies. a walk to rem made me cry buckets and so did lost and dilirious. im such a closet romance fan. dont get me wrong, i do NOT read those romance novels that belle is famous for and i Do enjoy dark depressing movies

just baq from drinks w jp. i really wanted to go to a straight place and was thinking about acid bar instead of mox coz gay ppl can be too overwhelming sometimes. but aft dinner we decided to check out this lesbian bar at club st. its quite small and cozy. nice place to bring a grp of friends for a chat or sth similar. not overwhelmingly lesbian, there were a few pleasant lking str guys there. best of all, happy hrs till 9.50! which is like far longer than any other places. housepours and beers are one for one and u get one jug free for every 3 jugs. so its like 10 bucks for 2 hsepours. the musics not bad, mostly dwn tempo or house which i like, altho there are not dj sets. a real nice place for a good chat w youre girlfriends. jp says tt everytime she meets me, we alwas talk about serious issues until she cannot slp. lol. well we certainly had an intimate conversation. from everything from past loves so present tastes to even well.. not so innocent ways of achieving pleasures. hah! some of the things i tell her, i guess i'll nv ever discuss again. we talked about how ppl viewed us and i gained some interesting comments. for example tt ppl wld like to knew me better when they 1st see me, but they dont do so coz they find me too aloof and like i have a wall arnd me of sth. haha! a friend once commented tt we looked like a married couple when we argue, and we both ewwww-ed immed. thats just soooo wrong! its like once u know someone really well, its just impossible to even imagine anything more. today's been a looonngg day, and im beat! must be the alcohol thats making me sleepy, off to bed then, while i await the arrival of my comp baq tml. yay

ive finally had the time to catch a glimpse of the 1st ep of lword s4 on my dad's laptop. which reminds me tt i shld delete the history later. its pretty irritating watching it in parts so i guess i'll dwnld and watch it again when i get my comp baq. well well, to me it wasnt a very nice ep. since dana's death, all i have to look forward to in terms of eyecandies still alive are alice and lara. but alas! there was no lara at all and alice seems to have forgotten all about her. i really wished their weird r/s wld continue. and i think im the only person so far to think that way. fans of marina, rejoice. shes back. but max... shes(or rather hes) back too. i just cant stand his voice! well, bette's sad and tina's straight w an irritating redneck bf to boot, so what else can be worse. the tina storyline just makes str ppl look soooo disgusting, like i wldnt even wanna associate w them. but of course thats just a story, i have my straight phrases too(actually im in one now, but i digressed). those two together just makes me feel that everyone shld just be gay. and then there's jenny and her new french lover claude,who btw looks terrible! shane is looking as beat up as ever, but still manages to look hot all the same(as much as i dont like to say it). please let sth good happen to alice's lovelife. for once can she get a hot lover that does not die or disappear? maybe she shld just get together with helena or sth. at least shes hot. why do i get this feeling that i'll not like s4 but i'll still watch it anyway? i just cant resist alice! i swear l word makes me gay.

you know, i've always wondered what makes you like someone. how in the millions of ppl u see daily, there'd sure to be a few which stands out to you. and out of the many ppl that u personally know, there'd a few which you'd like to know better. perhaps its all in the chemicals. I've always had this weird idea that if u certain features, chemicals are released in the brain. if they're attractive to you, then a certain kind of chemical is released which makes u feel attracted to the person. that wld explain why diff ppl find diff types of features attractive.(like how i personally prefer blondes heh) maybe that's why you cant force yourself to like someone. its simply cause that person just cant cause those kind of chemicals to be released. then again there's the situation of the kind of like tt grows on you. im sure we've all heard of stories abt love being able to grow on ppl. sigh there's so much i'd like to find out about life, yet there are so little answers as of now.
i guess certian things in life wld always remain a mystery. i'll have alot of things to ask god when i meet him! maybe i shall compile a list

im so fucking sick of cleaning up after ppl. its like if u make a decision, please follow through with it. argh! if i help u, its coz im being NICE. i cant be forever nice. no wonder my period is 2 wks late. too much excess stress that shldnt even be there in the 1st place. either that or im pregnant which is highly unlikely.
why do i feel like im not gg to get the job coz my karma's catching up with me. somehow, the thought of me selling ice-cream isnt really that unlikely after all. argh, but really, cleaning up aft ppl really tests ure patience.
here's what i shld pray to god: give me the thick skin of a hippo, patience of a honey bee and the endurance of a uh... ant?

boy am i glad to be home although, it's still sans my computer. its not gg to be baq till my dad has the time to get it fr the workshop. prob wont be baq till this sat.=(
this means, im gg to miss watching the latest episode of s4 l word! and i also cant dwnld damien rice's new album and this tanya chua cover of yellow which is really slow and heart wrenching. just makes u want to cry. today was my 1st day at work. act, its not considered work. its really really really part time, and by that im serious. and no, im not a lesbian social escourt in case u were wondering. oh how i wish. basically, i spent the entire amt of today's pay on a ex jap dinner, and booze. how nice. now my pockets are lighter and i'm on the road to getting a beer belly. lovely! now i somehow dont feel guilty STILL asking my parents for my mthly allowence. hah. atleast i struck a bargain w them. if i earn more than 1600 a mth,they dont have to give me allowence! see im a filial child. now... if that were to happen, they'll give have to pay my ezlink costs, hp bills and my driving lessons! i must be the only child who pays her own bills whenever she visits the polyclinic k! opps. i shldnt use the word child, after all, im like 19 this year.ok time to review the rights that ive attained so far: i can have sex. i can marry w parental consent. i can buy ciggs n smoke. i can buy n drink alcohol (whoopie!) i can enter most clubs. i can watch nc 16 and m18 movies. i can was RA plays(for plays, ra is 18). i guess that's abt it. all in an attempt to make me TRY to think and act my age

i feel suddenly v homely. just feel really sick from all the alcohol n loud music these past few days. i guess nows detox time but i cant imagine myself eating fruits n vegs all day long for like a week or more.
i have decided to create a life list of everything i want to accomplish in my life 4 i die. the idea of making a life list was inspired by the US women who died in the sept 11 incident. they discovered her life list on her laptop. so basically it works like this: u write down all the things u wanna do in ure life, adding new ones to the list when u want to. and when u accomplish a certain goal, u'd have to cross that off the list. some samples of goals in my list wld be: to live in new york. date a natural blonde. etc etc. of coz there'd be more serious ones like: control emotions. be more accepting to others blah blah

a new year once again. and i spent it with alcohol once again. went out for beers then rushed home to spend new year with the parents. aww... so by the time i went home, i was already buzzing. had ice wine which tasted heavenly! by the time new year hit, i was already jumping up n down in the balcony in my shirt n undies, screaming happy new year n playing with party poopers. and i got returning screams by the other ppl standing at their balconies too! hah! i have nv been so drunk at home before. so here's my new year resolution(its really simple actually): to concentrate on ONE thing at a time and see to its completion. although i havent decided what exactly wld be the 1st thing i conc on. i hope 2007 wld be more fun/interesting and less depressing than 2006. not that 2006 was a depressing year for me, but things cld always be better. i think on the whole 2006 was an alright year for me. i had a lot of fun n new exp(be it good or bad). and i was surrounded by all the ppl i love! =)
here's a few pics of hw i spent my christmas:


covered totally in crazy string

i thought the cone boobies where quite kinky actually..