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some customers do really deserve a smack in the face. this job really tests my patience and ability to endure shit, all while doing it with a smile. in actual face, i wanted to punch her transvestite looking braces face and tell her that, 'the reason why there is no senior staff at the counter is because we are short handed, and if i were not here, you would be talking to an empty counter!' argh?! mother farker!! oh well, at least i learnt the trait of smiling while thinking that the person is such pain in the ass.

then there were these two other guy who were trying to make conversation with me with things such as are you chinese? whats you're surname? etc. sure making conversation is fine, but not when i have like 10 other people queueing with slowly blackening faces. im so sick of people asking if im chinese. yes i am for god's sake. i know my chinese is a lil rusty, but its still understandable ok. anyway what difference does it make if im not? rahh!!!

patience jean patience. be zen.

wisdom from america says that if i wish to get what i want, i need to change. its not easy to hear that your personality isnt good enough. but why do you have to be one thing or the other? why cant you be neither. thats what ive been grappling with since secondary school. hah. 20 and still having an identity crisis. as the wisdom says, im still stuck in my teens. need to grow up. but what if what defines me is that attitude. if i change that,do i lose myself? i believe i could be "sassy","suave" or whatever you call it, if i wanted to. maybe i would. but on the other hand, its general wisdom that, once you stop looking, you'd find the thing you were looking for. this comes in various themes too. oh well, never thought i would be 20 and STILL conflicted. heh, issues are a mainstay i say.

oh and, never have lots of wagyu beef with beer. i nearly puked out the contents after a bus ride. somehow the fats from the beef reacts really badly with alcohol. nevera again will i have that combination.

i'm like totally into this song at the moment: american boy by estelle. now now, doesnt everyone want one of those. mmm hmm.

anyway, heard from a friend who is back in singapore that its going to be pride month in LA, where shes studying at. man, i would have loved to be there. in singapore, all the hotness is kept inside, there, hotness is displayed right there on the street. gay men and lesbians there parading the street, drag queens everywhere. im sure thats a sight to behold. if i were there, i think i would be salivating. but unfortunately, im still stuck in hotness-less singapore, with just mardi gras beads which i think i have misplaced.

this is so random, but i absolutely hate the feeling of coming out of the shower. the part where you turn off the tap and towel yourself down.

my feet are numb. i wonder why i bother to work a whole day for what i can get for an hour of work in like 3 years time. its for the experience. yes i can keep on fooling myself to get by

law camp drew to a close this Thursday night. which ended off which drinks, good company (heh heh) and a long ride home at 3am. I've had my fair share of standing up for hours at end, talking in a super irritatingly high pitched voice for hours at end too and drooling over hot bodies (or rather a body). the camp also taught me patience, lots of it. not to mention the ever relevant lesson that looks are not everything. it also bonded me to my friends, since we spend almost 24-7 together.

then after a 6 hour sleep, i awoke to get my job stuff then joined my friends for a mango shopping spree. as you all would have already realised, they are having a sale. and i blew 100 plus in a day. wonderful. no wonder i need a job.

which brings me to the next point. i am starting work tml. and im so nervous. what if i piss off customers? oh well, i shall put on my friendliest face, if that is even possible.

life's a little busy right now. there are a few social decisions i have to make in the upcoming week, so i hope they go well, and i wont find myself in awkward situations that i somehow find myself getting into. oh well. law camp starts tomorrow and i do hope i'll get a healthy tan.

and oh, i am going to be working in john little marina square. please hold back the laughter. we are only young once, this is the probably the only chance i can get at handling a cash register and folding bras.

yesterday, i was traumatised that my hairdresser left. after betraying her by getting one haircut in hk, shes gone. the horror, and the worst thing is no one knew where she went. heh, just the right attitude for her i say. and so while shopping with my sis along haji lane, i decided to go back to the salon just to try my luck. and well i ended up with a perm. well, i was initially shocked when i saw my hair right after the curlers were removed. it was literally identical to the maggie goreng that i love. even though i was super hungry by that time, not even the hunger could distract me from the shock. oh god, how was i to live with maggie like curls? no offence to aunties, but i am hardly at that age yet! but thank god, the guy managed to get rid of the maggie like curls and reduce them to sth of a lesser degree. so now my hair look permanently messy. so please dont ask me if i had a rough night or just got out of bed, its natural, well sort of.

anyway, i found a replacement for my usual hairdresser already! nevermind it came in the form of a male, he easy on the eyes. plus, he really takes time to see what can potentially be done to your hair. i said i wanted something different but i wanted the length. yes i was even willing to go with the shaved side. and well he suggested several other alternatives. even my sis likes him, i foresee her going back after her package with her usual salon ends. so if anyone wants a good cut, by someone whose easy on the eyes, look for the creative director of heatwave. sure he's 30 bucks per cut instead of the normal 21 but, i'd rather pay for quality. and dont ask my how much i paid for my perm. alot. which is why i need a job.

another reason why i need a job is because i bought a new bag. yay! i passed up a 400dollar one made of construction material for a 60 dollars one made of ad banners. anyway, check out the website : www.alchemygoods.com for all the cool stuff they have there. the wallets and the card holders look nice. i would have loved the other bags there if they wernt so damn shiny, but to each his own then.

now i only am restricted to half the population. if you know what i mean.

anyway, i had a point to blog about love and lust but seeing that this post is long already, i shall save it for another day, if i remember that is.

i am addicted to the song apologize by one republic somehow. not that i have anything to apologize to. hrm, well maybe this is a sign that i sub-consciously do.

i should really stop playing ace attourney and get around to cleaning my room. and burn enough calories to excuse my japanese buffet dinner later.

yesterday night, i had 3 questions answered about my future using oracle cards.

one was about my schoolwork, another was about my health and the last one is as cheesy as it goes, lovelife. please do resist the urge to snigger.

the answer to one of the questions was an outright yes, or which i am still hoping to see the results. common themes were rest, waiting, positive thinking and simplifying my life. interesting advice also came in the form of, letting go of the past- oh like finally some devine being tells me, and listening to my desires not feelings- im just as clueless here.

and so im going to start on a mind body and soul thing next semester. its time to get rid of what i dont need going on in my life and fill the space with good stuff. like taking new classes and stopping things that bring me negative feelings.

plus i am finally going to clean my room, in a bid to rid my life of clutter and simplify it. im going to be spending alot more time in it in the near future.