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woohoo! i passed! but just barely. 18 points. the examiner said tt i drive fast and anyhow anyhow. but still he passed me. damn heng.

i like couldnt sleep a wink the night before. maybe it was like mostly coz of my driving test but my mind kept floating to like random things. its such a terrible feeling. esp when ure trying desperately to get some sleep. i even resorted to counting sheep.(of which i lost count but still cldnt fall aslp). argh! im so inefficient with my time. i did nth productive the whole week except pass my driving and get drunk. lovely. got a torts test next week and i havent even read a page of anything remotely relevant.

onto sth more serious.. i have no idea where my life is heading. days are just spent laughing and having fun but is anything really getting done? is having fun considered as sth impt? what is impt in the general scope of life? what is impt IN THE END? i really wish i cld be just one of those ppl who are simple minded. ppl who are just satisfied with concentrating on what is directly in front of them. i should just stop thinking.

its less than 15 hrs to my driving test. and im freaking out. trying to be as zen about it as i prob can. but of coz, im not a v zen person to begin with. argh. please give me a nice tester. and please dont let me be pah jiao.

never join facebook when u have a 1000 word assignment due the next day. you'll NEVER concentrate. looks like i wont be so lucky and retain my B-. oh drats, and i thought i was really that smart. i think alcohol retards the brain.

pass the beer please

so here i am, blogging after torts tut. i think i seriously came to sch half drunk. felt so terrible and tired after drinking last nite. urgh, so i just zoned out during tut. luckily the tutor emphasised with me and left me alone to zone out. how understanding of him. i think he's a really nice guy, plus he swears alot so thats cool too.

but the bits of the tutorial i did manage to catch (in bet the times of zoning out), troubled me deeply. it proved once again that coldness and detachment are essential traits of good lawyers. lets say for example, a lifeguard off duty sees a baby drowning and just doesnt save him. well as lawyers, we are supp to see that he has so liability. this totally goes against moral values. alot of ppl in the class felt that he shld be liable but i surprised myself when i didnt. i think that explains why lawyers drink and smoke so much. coz deep down inside they are making up for all the crap that they have to go through in their course of work. the worst thing is that through it all, u have to look as cool and confident as u possibly can. i think this is why all lawyers tell ppl who want to study law that the $$ is not worth it. now, im beginning the think it really isnt.

my mum went to bleach my topshop boxers. lovely. now it comes in two shades of green! how sexy.

anyway, i hate it when im sitting at the bus stp, trying to fig out which bus no. is coming, and some idiot stands right in my field of vision! god. thats such an irritating thing to do. i know i know, im being irrational, how cld the person know that he's standing in my field of vision. yeah, yeah, im being mean again... but hey, when am i not?

oh man im seriously too old for this crap. as if i dont have enough to cope with for law and all. sometimes i just want to go numb. to not feel anything. i just feel not in control certain aspects of my life. and i hate the feeling of not being in control. its like driving a car with a faulty steering wheel. raarrr! and i thought this chapter of my life was closed already. great. hopefully, i'd feel better after i sort things out. if i do anyway. i totally hate it when things fuck with your mind. it wasnt supposed to happen. why cant life be just as smooth-sailing as i want it to be. then everything would be all right would'nt it? just when everything seems to be in order, sth just has to happen. i think i just need a good long weekend away from everything and everyone. alone time to sort out the many thoughts in my mind and tie up the loose ends of my life.

speaking of loose ends. i think i have plenty. i have a short attention span so i tend to jump on stuff easily then i get bored then i jump onto something else. i wanted to learn so many new stuff like yoga, drums and spanish and i did none of them. im such a procastinator. i have a habit of leaving things hanging. yes i knw its bad, which is why i have yet to accomplish much in life. 19 years and still nth significant. its not as if im getting any younger.

btw i love the red hot chili peppers. their songs just really appeal to me. the pace, lyrics and tune just somehow totally express whatever im feeling. whatever am i feeling anyway? oh yes, i forgot, ive got a big problem with admitting things too.

i think its time to make chubby the new skinny. there can be no other way. being chubby needs to be the new in thing. argh. so now while trying on my older clothes, ive been trying hard to convince myself that they shrank after not being worn for a long time or, that ive gained more stomach muscles. sometimes denial is good.