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i am in a horrid mood. even though geek party was fun

progress! i have gone from not talking about it to finally talking. uh huh. plus, hooters and watching my sis gmax away. of course, i didnt go on it. when asked, i immediately felt pukey.

you see i've been glued to the psp the past few hours. if there's one thing i learnt, its that playing into the night doesn't cure insomnia, it makes it worst. you'll never treasure sleep till you cant get enough of it. and so, i've been a blob, lying on my bed, playing the whole day. stopping only to shift my position when my arms start to get numb. not good, i shall attempt to drag myself to the gym later.

eeks, today, my sis is gg to sit the swing thing in clarke quay. i feel her pain. fellow pussies! there is no shame in freaking out on a ferris wheel! there is no shame in trying to meditate and be zen when riding a ride that takes you up 5 storeys, while screaming for your friend next to you to shut the fuck up and stop tauting you. it only goes to show that you can multitask and that you're one step closer to attaining Nirvana. come to terms with your pussy identity and embrace it. and when someone calls you pussy, don't be sad, because you have 9 lives!

your love is everything- coldplay. this song is indescribable. something about it makes me feel soo... gosh and i cant even find a word for it. a song that you'd find typically in french films. with their slightly warped sense of film-making, ie love me if you dare. i like.

observation of mine: more people are caught up with the past than you'd imagine. of course, you wouldn't be able to see the emotional baggage one is carrying from their outward appearance, actions and ways. we keep it hidden, who wouldn't? there's a certain embarrassment associated with it. but sometimes, you'll catch them in a moment of emotional weakness, and that's when you'll catch a glimpse that they have something they can't really leave behind.

jazz dance today was um, interesting. i must say, i have never felt so slutty before. i may be described as many things but i am sure slutty will not be one of them. that being said, jazz is hardly slutty but well, i just cant look myself in the mirror while attempting to dance. however, that alone is a little difficult since the whole studio had mirrors all around. and argh! i just cant do the hip rotating movement! nor can i jiggle my breasts. nor can i differentiate between swaying my upper body and my hips. why does everything seem so much simpler with alcohol. maybe the next time i should begin the class with a shot of tequila. and my friend says cardio latino is much worse. i think i'll be a whore then.

and advice to everyone who hasnt been to a dentist in more than 2 years: please do go. i just advised my sis who hasnt been in more than 3 plus years to go. i fear for her teeth. before i even fully opened my mouth, the dentist exclaimed: oh my, stains! and the next 20 secs passed with her identifying my cavities. i had 3. and since i am not used to opening my mouth for such a long period, my jaw started to shake after a while. god it was soo embarrassing. a 20 year old not being able to control her mouth. not cool at all.

oh and results are out. i may have up-ed my chances of getting out of singapore by one. so chances now stand at: 2%. i know i know, part of the reason why i am so keen on going is to escape singapore and all the things that are here. escapism is not good but well, its the easy way out. i just want to see how it'll be if i'm away from everything for a period of time. well, we'll see if i'll be flying away once jan is over i think.

as for christmas, ALCOHOL! yea since its jesus's birthday, we'll have to celebrate it with a little wine. or a little whiskey. it used to be a season of hope and wishes, but i dont recall any of my wishes coming true. well, maybe its because i cant remember my previous wishes. but still!

maybe, i should keep a little black book of quotes that i like. when i read a book or watch a movie and come across one i like, i'd just write it down in my little black book. anyway, today i watched a really sad movie online. brought tears to my eyes at the end. it's called 'affinity'. its adapted from a book of the same name, however, i thought the book was a little boring and im not sure if i finished it. well, after watching the movie maybe i'd be a little more motivated to take it off my bookshelf, where its been sitting for a really long time. i shant give the ending nor the plot away but here's one of my fave quotes : you have the last thread of my heart. i wonder, when the thread goes slack, will you feel it?

omg, i am such a sucker for romantic films! just love movies/ book when the character makes sacrifices for love. this may or may not be a good thing. because when you watch too much, you tend to expect your life to turn out like a movie. which will not be the case most of the time. now now, wouldnt everyone like their life to turn out like the movies, but the reality of the situation usually (or rather almost always) differs. oh wells.

believe it or not, i will be attending my first amore fitness class on the 24th! i signed up with a few friends. the first class we decided to attend is jazz dance. oh gosh, never in my life have i imagined myself doing any sort of dance save for clubbing(which is really less of dance and more of uh moving against bodies?) or mass dance. eeps! plus there'd be mirrors all around the dance studio. oh wells at least its not latin dance or some sultry dance. me dancing seductively is really beyond my imagination. im really more of a yoga or kickboxing person. oh wells, at least jazz dance will burn some calories off the feel good ice cream i've been eating. plus i bought 2 more tubs. i think i spent all my money on haagen dazs rum and raisin ice cream. but its really orgasmic, well for me anyway.

and tml i am going to the dentist. after 2 years. needless to say i am freaking scared! went out with a dental student a few days ago and she was checking my teeth for plaque. i hate dentists and their drills. yes i am a pussy. and results are coming out tml. i am a little worried although i have no idea what time it actually comes out.

today was filled with shopping. there nothing like shopping to soothe the soul. by the time me and my sis met my parents for dinner, i had already 2 huge shopping bags.
all in all we bought:
dog toys
lightning shirt
real cool yakpak
high cut converse sneakers
nike jacket
secret presents for my friends

all that remains on my shopping list is a watch from mustafa. now now, should i get an ah beng gold or the tamer silver. oh my, spending money has never been so enjoyable! and i found a new secret shopping place!

this is how it should play out in my mind-

When I met you on the outskirts of town I said:

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He knealt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said:

Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad you'll pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

ok, well lyrics are from the song 'love story' that i am ashamed to admit that i was hooked the first time i heard it. although, i probably wouldnt want a white dress, but the ring's cool though. oh, damn the idealist in me.

beer: yay!
1L of beer: double yay!
shirlyn tan: triple yay! now thats one face that i'll never get sick of staring at. even though she has a hint of a beer belly (just a hint so it can be overlooked. plus its hidden by her guitar). also, there was the eye candy brandon there too.

everone scream: whoa oh x8!

p.s: shes from tkgs. evidence that tk produces hot girls. anyway, look for this weeks is mag, she's interviewed there.

p.p.s: always be my baby 4 times in 2 days in 3 different versions is unbearable. to think i even know the lyrics. but of course, shirlyns version was best. and i even sang along.

new band of the moment: the veronicas.

i can lalalalalalalala
I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want
Don't stop
Give me give me give me what you got got
Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more
Don't even talk about the consequence
Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me
And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think
Cause you're the only one who's on my mind
I'll never ever let you leave me
I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye (bye bye bye)

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

"how do i tell her i love her? i looked at her clear big eyes. And her slightly open lips. I desperately wanted to kiss her pink cheek (funny i only thought of kissing her cheek but not her lips)"

this is somehow highly amusing to me. i saw this quote off a Singapore Biennale picture. dont ask me why. maybe its because the thought of looking into big clear eyes scares me. a little

so i am back from batam and as black(or rather red) as ever. one point before i go on about batam. and it is... never get drunk(or rather try not to). you see, i had this last minute mini party at my house since my parents were out of town. when you're drunk you tend to do karmically bad things. like drinking break up rum and insulting someone you dont even know. eeps. bad karma bad karma! and i dont even like that particular brand of rum in the first place. well, bad karma hasnt caught up with me yet, since i survived batam save for a really really burnt face.





i came back with a red and scaly face and 2 fake tats! to prepare my mother for the real thing. the place where we stayed was really nice. well of course it was nice. its owned by singaporeans and you pay in sing dollars. oh well. got a really interesting massage. and my face part was the hair pulling part. although i have no idea how much hair came off in the process but well it was worth it.

so i have realised that i have been indulging all the way since the end of the exams, ie dec 1st. thats bad. for the waistline that is. eeeps!

ok i am back from kl. what a busy week. i hardly had time to rest after the exams. so i am back emo-er than ever. must be 'those' conversations. tsk tsk. plus songs like this that was playing in the car:



terrible i tell you. with lyrics like these:

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

doesnt help that i am addicted to the song and thus, its on repeat. together with another eric emo song: chasing pavements. anyway some of the interesting things i tried there are: tequila shot in an orange and shisha with a pineapple. both were surprisingly nice. and so i am back with a black lung and a slightly damaged liver. oh yeah and maybe a clogged artery or two(malaysians are really liberal with their use of lard and oil). must gym before going batam!

today i planned to gym and tan the day away. unfortunately, there wasnt much sun, so i only managed to do the former.

and so i took went to the beach for a walk. well, actually i drove to the beach, walked then drove back. have been in a contemplative mood so i spent the next half an hour driving around, entertaining whatever thoughts that came into my mind. sometimes, i have rather entertaining thoughts.

anyway, so i was thinking, inspired by all the things people are saying about the lawyer killed, what would people be saying when i die. oh what a morbid thought. but well, hopefully, theres life after death so i'd be able to hear what everyone says ask they walk past my coffin. well, i hope they dont put much make up. oh and i hope i have nice tan. one last thing, i want to be in a suit, looking smart and all. i'd probably die repressed, being irritated that: damn i'm dead and i havent done what i want yet. so many things unsaid, tsk tsk.

and the things people would say. 'she loved beer', 'she couldnt spell for nuts' or maybe something along the lines of 'she was hot, but too bad shes dead' would be nice. although it would have been much better if that had been said before i 'died'. ok enough of these morbid thoughts!

oh yay exams are over! i've just finished my last paper and drove straight home and opened a bottle of beer. well, the only bad thing about today is the fact that i have a headache. i always get headaches after exams. my mother says thats because i hardly ever use my brain. oh well.

i shall be having a lovely sushi dinner. and hopefully theres a prospect of more beer!

ah beer. never fails to make me happy. although it stands in the way of me getting rid of exam weight gain, but who cares! i'd just have to diet or exercise more i guess. diet never includes cutting down on alcohol. on the topic of exam weight gain, i think ive gain like 3 kg over the past 3 weeks? havent gymmed in a long time and have been eating like a lord. normally i dont snack, but while studying its just instinctive to snack. and i think i bought too much snacks. exams are over and i still have chips and sugar peanuts (yes i love them). oh well, the gymming starts tml! oh yea, plus maybe i should buy a cucumber and put it in the fridge to cure my terrible eyebags which seem, at this point in time, to be larger than my eyes.