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reality has started to sink in. tml im not going to spend my night at home. the horror! i'm starting to get homesick even before i leave home. argh. anyway, my room is on the 2nd flr of B block temasek hall. its in quite a private area. thats good cause i really value privacy. i dont know if i can get used to living in such a small room and sharing toilets with so many people.

worries worries worries. and my patience is starting to wear thin too. find myself getting pissed of easily. not to mention super petty and picky. oh wells, change is the only constant. not that i like it that way though.

ive spent most of yesterday and today finishing up harry potter and the deathly hollows. i shant leave any spoilers here but, its so sad seeing such an entertaining series ending. argghh! i hate it when something good has to end. the book's a good read though and i'll probably be reading it again sometime soon. still cant believe its the last one though.

everytime i read the sports section of the sunday times, i always wonder how to those ppl featured in the great bods section ever get so light? i mean at 1.65 and 48kg? that seems almost impossible for me! altho i am taller (at 1.67) its highly unlikely for me to even reach 50. maybe its time for me to lose those hidden baby fats. oh wells as long as i dont look heavy its ok, nevermind if i actually am.

anyway, i went to ikea yesterday. it was huge! the whole area there at tampines reminded me of msia, with all its mega shopping malls and all. when i stepped into ikea, i instantly felt soo happy. theres something about swedish designs. which reminds me, i totally dig european designs. after a whole lot of shopping, i got: 2 lamps, scented candles, 2m worth of cloth, a plant(my mum said it was cheap, so we got it), an alarm clock and boxes. all these to decorate my hall rm. i love the vintage feel of the clock most. still, i wanted to get more barang barang, but of course since my parents were paying, i couldnt. not that im complaining that they are paying though. hah! its always good to have a little financial help here and there since im not working anymore.

ive been slightly addicted to justin timberlake's "lovestoned" ever since i heard it on the radio. there's something about his songs that always makes you feel like gyrating amongst a sea of bodies. just look at sexyback. lovely.

today was the first time in a million years since ive met with my lower sec friends. hui en, yeow an and i went to mindcafe to have lunch and play some board games. its my first time to a boardgame cafe so it was a little weird for me at first. but soon we were screaming and swearing again. its interesting to note that although we went to diff jcs, we all ended up in the same uni. diff course of course.

ok now its time for me to do a little gushing. not a lot, just a little. it was at mindcafe where i think i saw the most hot/interesting looking girl of my life. she looked a little ang moh, had short hair, wore glass and was a photographer( she went arnd taking photos ). oh my, thats the geeky artsy look done to perfection. somehow she reminded me of the aussie singer/songwriter missy higgins. and of course during the period that she was there, i lost most of my games. not through a lack of skill though, its more like concentration.

and yesterday, i had a terrific haircut for free. its cut v well, even my mum commented on how technically well the cut was. it was supervised by this angmoh overseas stylist, who said tt yours truly had a "lovely face". teehee. although im 75% sure he's gay( he had a pinky ring! ). and i tried a lemongrass martini and a dom martini for the 1st time. i must say the lemongrass one tasted quite tomyum. but the dom one was not too bad. quite pleasant i think. my all time fave is still lychee of course.

the little adventure. thats all i am. just a little fun when you need it, the little bit of quirkyness that may seem interesting. its a wham-bam thank you m'am without the wham-bam. i have never thought of it in that way before. anyway its always refreshing to see things the way others perceive it. yet i have remained un-repentant. somewhere in the back of my mind, i think: someday, something will happen and everything will be all right. everything will click into place. like clock-work i say. maybe i should come with a warning label.

i have been feeling the urge to just run away. buy a ticket to new york to go live with my aunt. abandon my dreams of being a lawyer, take up liberal arts and live in a small apartment furnished with art and weird unique furniture. as a career, i would go teach at some artsy college and in my spare time i would roam the art galleries, dwell in academia and sit by little roadside cafe drinking coffe and wondering about life. one can always dream right? if the ability to even dream were to be taken away from humans, how sad we'd become. nothing to keep us from the realities of life.

4 years, thats a long time. we'll see what i become at the end of it. maybe id be working for UN fighting for a chance of a better future for people. then again i might be making money out of a company takeover, blind to the amount of ppl that would have to lose their jobs.

school starts in 3 weeks and i am as scared as hell. but before that, the prospect of having to pee in a tiny cup and getting your body scrutinized by an unknown person for medical checkup, doesnt look too pleasant. i have a thing about bodily fliuds. i dont like em all that much

today while i was travelling to vivocity for german food and beer,i once again had the feeling that everyone is so fucking boring. i must be in the anti-social mood again, coz everyone i meet cant even captivate me for more than 5 mins. save for my old friends of course, of which our hours of conversations never ever seem boring. i do hope this mindset doesnt last long and i do manage to allow ppl to show their special side to me. but as of now, i have ZERO tolerance for posers. and i wonder what lies behind all the eyeliner. so hard to imagine everyone as a unique, special individual.

so anyway i just read finish the book "The Alchemist" in a day. its all about finding your true journey, admist all the things that cloud your way and also about listening to your heart. a particularly memorable quote on pg 93 reads: "He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming commited. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when teo such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant." yes it is a long quote, but do take some time to digest and understand it, then you will understand the importance of it. i think thats the real beauty of words. when someone is able to put ideas and feelings into words. as to whether i believe in the quote or not, it really depends. on somedays i can be as cynical as ever, but on others im may be able to believe in all that.


And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling

ahh.. arnt the little cuties pretty? i am most prob going to get the white one for uni. was considering a tablet until i heard from my snr abt some fujitsu crashes. as to how far that is true i have no idea but im not willing to risk it. macs are just as pretty too. plus if i get a mac, id be able to get an ipod nano at a cheaper price.

on a slighty disgusting note, ive discovered a v itchy rash. and on all places, my middle finger. how nice. and the itch doesnt lessen when i scratch it. in fact it becomes worse. what a vicious cycle. i hope it goes away soon, i dont want my finger to look mutated now do i?

I'm so shallow I think I should kill myself.

Maybe I should pray about it. Hrm..

i cant believe this. i have lived 19 years of my life already and i think i have a second identity crisis. god, wasnt this supposed to be all over in secondary school. sometimes when im so sure on the outside, inside im just clueless.

so ive been told, 'relax be yourself. ppl will like you the way you are'. sounds simple enough to comply right? not when you're not even sure of yourself. i dont want to be a floater, without an aim in life. someone told me i had inner peace. well, i wish i really do.

live earth was heartwarming enough. i especially liked the clips of stars giving out green tips. not to mention madonna's "hey you" music vid. the song is catchy enough. now hopefully, all the efforts wld not be in vain. its not like im THAT environmentally conscious, but well i believe that a little effort goes a long way. however, we will nv truely go green if we still continue to stive for the high life. as of yet, fast cars are not yet green. the more comfortable we want our lives to be, the more energy we are going to waste. so although you wont see me travelling via bike anytime soon, i'll prob try to use less straws and disposable items.

school's starting and i already feel the jitters. everyone is like trying to get 2nd hand law books from the seniors coz they are like super ex when new. and as for me, giving my totally laid back attitude.. well i just am not really bothered. which is really bothering me! ironic huh. i hate needing to be kiasu. why cant we just chill out with a pint of ice cold german beer. ahh.. paired with cafe del mar music and a cool breeze... thats the life man. but its back to reality. with tons of important dates to remember. argh, i am beginning to dread uni before i even enter. im soo looking forward to life in the hall as compared to law school. all the super intense, enthu and agressive ppl in law sch are beginning to really get on my nerves. worst thing is i have to just smile and soak it all in. lovely.

yours truely has been feeling a tad angsty and downcast recently. and no, its not because i got dumped (much to the dismay of mister karma). i think its got something to do with the lack of sunlight i've been getting. with my totally unflattered two toned shoulders(from all that peeling), you cant blame me for trying to avoid the sun. then again, it might be my addiction to electronic music. or perhaps my parents recent obsession with healthy dieting and food, which has left me with less than tasty meals these few days. god, my dad even been trying to get me to eat raw celery with him. seriously, raw celery is shity. it stinks and tastes like crap. i can still taste its cappy-ness after taking a teeney weeney forced bite 10 mins ago. its ok, im still at such a tender age of 19, all the fats and unhealthy stuff wont be kicking in until about 40 years later. till then, its tasty over healthy anytime.

but perhaps the most likely cause of my melancholy is the hot weather and the weird dreams ive been having every night. sweet dreams are fine, but not ones in which u end up crying when u wake up or ones that leave u feeling like u've havent even slept a wink although u've been sleeping for like 9 hrs. first, lets start with the one that left me with a tear-stained pillow. i've nv cried in such a long time. maybe months. this dream involves, alot of revenge and hatred. and its all from me! nothing like a woman's wrath i say! gasp, who knew i had soo much bad emotions all kept inside me. in short, i attempted to murder someone close to me because the person did me some in justice (which somehow involved me nt being able to study law in US and settling for nus instead).

the second one was even weirder. it starts of with me backpacking alone in thailand. ive just walked out of a nightmarket and am finding my way towards my nect destination wherever that is. next comes a wirlwind adventure which starts of with a beautiful long haired woman in a black sports car with its top down, me being pierced with a needle from a druggie, and rushing to the hospital. of coz along the way, there were many more incidents in between.

then theres another dream in which all my friends were different animals. i was a cow. then all the animals stood in two long line and begun greeting each other.

oh my, i really should go see someone to interpret my dreams. like david?(the guy in the bible who starts interpreting the kings dreams). plus, i should really brush up on my bible stories. im getting everyone mixed up now.